Be my wife
by NeverEndingFandoms18
Summary: Patsy and Delia both want the same thing, but it is just out of reach and it will be a long time until times change. i do not own CTM...ect. ABANDONED, please see my profile for more info but please feel free to read
1. Chapter 1

Be my wife.

 **I do not own CTM, the BBC does. This will be a multi length fanfic. Any mistakes are my own. Enjoy.**

"We don't like cake." I said, grabbing my bah and storming out of the little café. I was angry. How dare he? How dare Patsy. How could she be so blind? It was not fair. Why did things have to be like this?

I heard Patsy's shoes tapping along the pavement quickly. I knew she was trying to catch me up. But I could not look at her. If I did, I knew I was going to burst into tears. I could feel them welling up. I must not cry in front of Patsy. It was a shock seeing her cry in front of me. The night she lost a baby and she needed me. I do not like to see Patsy so upset, it breaks my heart. I know it is the same for her. She hates to see me hurting. It is why I cannot let her see.

I felt her grab my arm. I had to stop and turn round to face her. The love of my life.

"You don't really want all of that, do you?" her eyes looked so painful, there was years brimming on the rims. Why was it so hard? Why can't you be with the one you love in every sense of the world? Get married, get a house, and have children.

"Yes. More than anything." I felt my voice wobble as I spoke and Patsy looked down, her face said it all.

"To you, you fall." I said, this made her look up, half smile as the tears ran down her checks and made her look more vulnerable than ever. "But I can't. So that's that."

I pulled away from her and started walking again. I felt the tears run down my face; I did not have the heart to brush them away. I heard Patsy rush after me again. She came to a stop in front of me.

"Delia. Please we have to talk."

"Where Patsy? There is nowhere safe to talk. You know that." I said, through my tears. I could feel my heart breaking with every second.

"Nonnatus. The chapel is rarely occupied at this time. Most of the nuns are in bed. They do not get up till about six so we have time." I looked down. I really ought to be getting back to my own lodgings. Patsy took one of my hands and held it tightly. "Please Deels." She said, her eyes screaming out for me. I felt the same. We both wanted so much more.

I nodded. There was so little chance to talk properly. Most of the time we were both at work. My hours were flexible, but we never knew when Patsy might be working. Her timetable s=could change in a blink of an eye. It was common for our plans to be cancelled at the last minute and it was very rare we have to do it again. Plans changed and we just had to cope with it.

"What do I say to my roommates, I do not want the matron finding out? I might lose my position Patsy. Then where will we be? It will be harder to get another job in the London, or anywhere else for that matter." I know it was selfish, to only think about my job, and it but myself was important. Patsy was just as important, but it might be far too risky.

"I know Delia." She said and I felt relief wash thorough me. I knew that I should not be worried. We understand each other very well/ we know when something is bothering up, any worries or problems, or even when one of us is done and we do not want to tell the other as it might depress things. We knew each other very well. But It was not enough. I do not think it ever will be enough.

She squeezed my hand and I felt tears well up behind my eyes, I was too late to stop them from running down my face. Patsy brushed them away with her thumb and tilted my head up so our eyes could meet. "You know it breaks my heart to see you cry. So stop Deels." I smiled; she always knew how to make it better. "How about you come to Nonnatus tomorrow? We both have the evening off. Sister Julienne knows that I deserve an evening off. You could come for dinner then we can talk in the chapel? There will be plenty of time to walk you back to your lodgings."

I nodded. I knew that if I spoke I would burst into tears. I stepped forward and hugged her tightly. I felt her arms slip around me and hold me tight. I looked up and kissed her. I did not turn my head to look around to see if there was anyone about. I did not care anymore. I wanted to show Patsy how much I loved her. We both deserved some happiness.

We both pulled back. I straightened her collar of her dress and placed myself back on the ground. I always stand up on my toes to kiss Patsy. Neither of us could help our height.

"Let me walk you home."

"Wont the Sisters get mad that you are late?"

Patsy smiled. I will just say we were carried away. I was able to have a nap before meeting you so I will cope until tomorrow evening. Having four hours, sleep sometimes feels like ten. We are lucky for what we get."

I smiled; I knew how hard she worked. I squeezed her hand and let go. We starred the walk home and got there in less than ten minutes. Most of the lights were off and I unlocked the door. I turned back to Patsy and hugged her again. "I love you." I whispered in her ear and kissed her neck gently.

Patsy kissed the top of my head. "I love you too." She said and pulled away from me as we both heard footsteps. "I will see you tomorrow. I will ring in the morning after I have asked Sister Julienne if it is alright for you to come round."

"It's a date." I said, smiling then gently closed the door behind me. I heard Patsy walk away and wished that things could be different. The goodbyes would not happen at night and I would not be sleeping alone every night. _Why can't things change?_

 **Reviews are welcome.**


	2. Chapter 2

Be my wife

Chapter two

 **Authors note: a few people have asked me to upload another chapter so here it is.**

 **I want to apologise for the** **abominable** **spelling, grammar and structure mistakes in the last chapter. I am so bad at proof reading, but I am thankfully getting better as I'm halfway through my first year at uni studying creative writing. I will try better this time.**

 **Any mistakes are my own…I do not own Call the Midwife, the BBC does ect ect ect**

 **Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.**

Sister Julienne didn't know how happy she had made me. After walking Delia safely home, I managed to catch the sister-in-charge as I walked through Nonnatus House. I hadn't had my day of in a few weeks so I really deserved one. Sister Julienne was happy to grant me a day off and allow Delia to come to supper.

Delia had become a familiar face at Nonnatus and she got on so well with everyone. Even Sister Evangelina! But then again, Delia always had that way about her. Everyone loved her, even when she first started at The London and I had been tasked with showing her around. We had been put in the same block of accommodation when she became a fully trained nurse. I can't actually think of anyone who doesn't like Delia.

Stepping silently into the room I shared with Trixie, it was hard not to keep the smile off my face. Trixie was curled up on her side, a bottle of half-drunk vodka sat next to her bed. A glass hanging loosely from her hand. She wasn't asleep. She turned over when I came in.

The smile on my lips disappeared quickly.

A sigh escaped from my lips as I threw my bag on my bed and eased the glass from her hand. She was staring at me with glassy eyes, a lopsided smile on her face.

"And where have you been?" she asked sluggishly, giggling at nothing in particular.

I picked the glass and bottle up and placed them on the table in the corner of the room. "Out seeing a friend." I said and helped Trixie to sit up. She swayed slightly at the sudden change of movement, clutching onto my arm as she regained her balance.

Trixie giggled again, a light blush ghosting her pale checks. Trixie looked awful. In the past few weeks she had been drinking as if her life depended on it. She had been missing meals and taking every shift she could possibly get her hands on.

"Out with _Delia_?" Trixie asked loudly, giggling again.

I clenched my jaw. My suspicions about Trixie knowing about my relationship with Delia were confirmed. Oh we had tried so very hard to keep it a secret. How could the blonde possibly know? We had always tried to be careful.

"Yes with Delia." I said and laid a hand on Trixie's forehead. She was burning up. "Have you have anything to eat Trix?"

Trixie shook her head and laid it on my shoulder. "I know about you and Delia, you know." She whispered in my ear.

There was a sudden taste of metallic in my mouth as my teeth dug into my cheek. "I don't know what you're talking about Trixie." I said easily and patted her arm. "Come one and let's get you ready for bed. You're on call first thing tomorrow."

Trixie groaned and for a moment I was worried she was going to be sick. But she wiped her eyes and looked at me. Her bloodshot, red rimmed eyes said it all.

"You know me and Tome broke off our engagement?" Trixie said, suddenly becoming very sober.

I nodded wearily. When Trixie first told me, she was in absolute bits. But she wasn't as bad as what she was now. I had never seen Trixie this depressed. The light from her eyes, her cheeriness from her voice, and her spring in her step had all gone. And all that remained was a shell of a girl.

"I am so sorry Trix, I really am. If there is anything I could do…" I let the sentence fall away from me, I didn't have the heart to put my concerns into words. They would only fall on deaf ears. That was the problem with Trixie. She never accepted any help. She never asked for any help. She reminded me of myself. We were both good with façades.

Trixie smiled sleepily. She untangled herself from my arms and reached over to her bedside table. "Yes, there's something you can do." She said and passed the wad of paper into my hands.

I frowned, feeling the slightly warm paper in my hand. Looking from the little package to Trixie, she had tears in her eyes. She nodded, urging me to open it.

Slowly I did as she wanted. My fingers fumbled Trixie's intense stare as I peeled away the layers of paper.

Inside was a ring. A silver band with a cluster of little diamonds in the middle. My mouth went dry as I picked it up and examined it carefully.

"Trixie, I don't understand." My voice cracked slightly as the air got stuck I my throat.

She sniffed loudly and wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. "I want you to give it to Delia, Patsy." My head snapped up. Trixie smiled, a smile I hadn't seen in a while. "It was my mothers, she gave it to me before she passed away a few years ago. I want you to have it."

I shook my head, tears bring in the back of my eyes. "No Trixie I can't-it wouldn't be right for me to have it. Especially not if your mother wanted you to have it." Words tumbled out of my mouth, the paper crinkling under my grip.

Trixie's hand over mine stilled my frantic movements. "I have no reason for it now." She said, her own voice breaking. "Every time you go you and see Delia, you are so much happier when you come home. If that isn't love then I don't know what it." She said softly and pressed the ring back into my hand. "Please take it. You and Delia deserve to be happy even if you can't show it."

I looked down at the ring in my hand. "Trix are you sure? You might feel differently tomorrow when…" I hated referring to Trixie's drinking habits in front of her. She got very upset when Barbra mentioned it before. She refused to acknowledge she had a problem with alcohol. A problem that was getting worse day by day.

Trixie nodded. "I'm positively sure. I've been thinking about giving it to you for a while. You and Delia are made for each other." She gasped suddenly and jumped up. My hands reached out, trying to stop her moving so viciously. It wouldn't go down well with the nuns if they found sick on the floor.

"Trixie, what are you doing?" I tried to keep the annoyance form my voice. I stood up, following her as she swayed around the room. She took the ring off my and placed it on the dressing table. My brow knitted as I watched her clumsily search through her belongings. "Trixie get back to bed, I won't be able to pick you up if you collapse or be sick-"

My rant was cut short as Trixie found what she was looking for and gave a squeak of delight. I shushed her quickly, keeping one eye on the door and the other on Trixie.

The blonde was humming as she delicately tread the ring onto a silver chain and held it up so I could see. I smiled, not at the idea she had-although it was a very good idea as I was worrying how I could give the ring to Delia. I was smiling because the sparkle was back in Trixie's eye and the bright smile on her face was genuine.

"Now you can give it to Delia and she'll be able to wear it." Trixie announced, placing the ring and chain back into my hand. I stoked it gently, for a moment lost in my own thoughts. Then I gently placed it back on the dressing table and tilted my head back to one side. My hands on my hips, I raised my eyebrows.

"Bed Trixie." I said simply.

Trixie pouted, almost back to her old self ad crossed her arms over her chest. She wobbled so I caught her elbow before she completely fell over and steered he back towards her bed.

"When are you next seeing Delia?" Trixie asked as she sat down heavily on the bed, the energy she just had was now drained from her.

Gently I pushed her under the covers and tucked her in. "I'm seeing her tomorrow. She's coming round for supper."

Trixie gave another little squeak of delight. "And you'll give her the ring?"

"Yes Trix, I'll give her the ring." I assured her, switching off the bedside lamp.

Trixie caught my hand. "And you'll tell me how it goes?"

I squeezed her hand and tucked the hair behind her ear gently. "I will."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Trixie smiled and burrowed down under the covers. I eased my hand from her vice like grip and straightened up. Glancing over at the ring, a thrill of anxiety and excitement ran though me. Then I made sure Trixie was on her side and settled down myself, keeping an eye fixed on Trixie in case she needed me in the night.

Reaching over, I switched the remaining light off and sat in the darkness, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

 **A/N: I hope you liked it. Please review and let me know if anyone would like me to continue it.**


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